#98: When Life Feels Uncertain: Trusting Yourself Through Birth and Beyond

Uncertainty is one of life’s only constants. Whether you’re awaiting labor, navigating a breakup, or supporting a loved one through illness, not knowing what comes next can feel like freefall.

In this intimate solo episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, I open up about the seasons of my own life that shook me to the core:

• the unraveling of my marriage,

• a complete career pivot, and

• my mother’s breast-cancer diagnosis.

These experiences became unexpected teachers—mirroring the mystery of pregnancy and birth.

You’ll hear about:

• Uncertainty as a portal – how the loss of old identities can spark profound transformation.

• The identity shift of birth – why giving birth is also a rebirth of the parent.

• Common pregnancy fears – and a practice to uncover the deeper truths beneath them.

• Building self-trust – simple ways to practice surrender and confidence before labor.

• Life transitions as rehearsal for birth – how divorce, illness, or career change can prepare you for parenthood.

Listen to the episode now:

Uncertainty is one of the biggest stressors people experience in life. Whether we’re preparing for childbirth, facing a major life transition, or navigating a loved one’s illness, uncertainty has a way of shaking our sense of control. Yet, hidden inside those moments of fear and unpredictability lies the potential for profound transformation.

In this episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, I shared my own story of moving through uncertain seasons—my divorce, a career shift, and my mother’s breast cancer diagnosis—and how those experiences mirror the journey of pregnancy and birth. In this post, I want to expand on those lessons and help you, as a parent or parent-to-be, find strength in the unknown.

Uncertainty as a Portal to Transformation

We often think of uncertainty as something to “get through” as quickly as possible. But what if it is actually the portal to growth?

During my divorce, everything I had identified with—my marriage, my job, my living situation—crumbled at once. It was terrifying. But it also stripped away the layers of who I thought I “should” be, and allowed me to discover who I truly was.

Birth operates in much the same way. When labor unfolds in unexpected directions—when due dates pass, inductions are suggested, or birth plans don’t go as envisioned—parents often feel untethered. But it’s in that unraveling where transformation happens. Just as divorce taught me self-trust, labor teaches birthing people to trust their strength, their instincts, and their resilience.

The Identity Shift of Birth

We don’t talk enough about the identity shift that comes with birth. Society tells us to prepare by taking classes, hiring a doula, or learning breastfeeding tips—all of which are important. But what about preparing for the death of one identity and the birth of another?

When you give birth, it’s not only your baby being born—you are being born anew, too.

This mirrors the transition phase of labor: when things feel overwhelming, when you doubt yourself, when you feel like everything is falling apart. That is not failure. That is transformation. And on the other side of that threshold is the stronger, more resilient version of you—the one who births your baby.

Common Fears in Pregnancy and How to Reframe Them

Pregnancy is full of “what ifs”:

• What if labor is too long?

• What if I need a cesarean?

• What if my provider isn’t supportive?

• What if I can’t handle the pain?

These fears are valid, and ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. In fact, suppressed fears often lurk in the subconscious and influence how we experience birth.

Instead, I encourage curiosity:

• Ask yourself why this fear is surfacing.

• Keep asking “why” until you reach the root. There are usually deeper fears at play than the one that comes up initially. 

• You may discover that the fear isn’t about birth itself, but about deeper questions—Am I enough? Am I lovable? Am I worthy?

When you uncover the core truth, you can begin to reframe. Instead of setting rigid “goals” for birth, consider setting intentions:

• I  feel calm.

• I advocate for myself

• I am gentle with myself, no matter how birth unfolds.

Intentions allow space for transformation, whereas goals can unintentionally create a sense of failure.

Building Self-Trust Through Birth Preparation

One of the greatest skills birth teaches us is self-trust. It doesn’t just arrive fully formed—it’s cultivated through small, aligned decisions.

Here are some ways to practice self-trust before labor begins:

• Declutter – Start small by letting go of objects, commitments, or tasks that no longer serve you.

• Say no – Decline obligations that drain your energy to create space for what aligns.

• Reflect daily – Use journaling or meditation to ask yourself: What am I holding onto out of fear? What would happen if I let it go?

• Practice with your partner/support team – Talk through fears together, so they can support you in labor when doubt arises.

Birth doesn’t demand perfection; it asks for trust—trust in your body, trust in your support system, and trust in your ability to adapt.

Life Transitions as Birth Lessons

Whether it’s divorce, illness, or career upheaval, major life transitions mirror the birth process. They strip away old identities, push us into discomfort, and invite us to step into who we are meant to become.

• The unknown is terrifying—but also transformative.

• Letting go of what’s misaligned creates space for what’s meant to come.

• Fear is not the truth—it’s an invitation to uncover what really needs healing.

Just as labor asks you to surrender to waves of intensity, life transitions invite you to trust that you can rebuild and rise stronger.

If you are preparing for birth—or navigating another transition in life—I invite you to pause and reflect:

• Where are you clinging because of fear of the unknown?

• What identities, beliefs, or commitments no longer serve you?

• How can you practice trusting yourself more deeply today?

Remember: liberation often lives on the other side of fear. Birth, like life, will transform you. You cannot fail at it—you can only grow through it.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to take time today for journaling or meditation. Sit with your fears, peel back the layers, and discover the root truths waiting underneath. That inner work is one of the most powerful forms of birth preparation you can do—for yourself, your baby, and your journey into parenthood.

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