#109: An Unmedicated Birth Story of Pain, Power, Surrender, and the Call to Birthwork – with Ariella Silverstein-Tapp
- Clara O'Rourke
- 9 hours ago
- 6 min read
This episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast is one of those conversations that lingers. It’s intimate. It’s educational. It’s honest about the parts of birth and postpartum we don’t always name out loud.
In this episode, I sit down with Ariella Silverstein-Tapp (she/her) — former school principal, lifelong educator, new mother, and now full-spectrum doula — to unpack her 50-hour unmedicated birth and the identity shift that followed.
This is not just a birth story.
It’s a story about:
Reframing pain
Letting go of control
The nervous system’s role in labor
Prodromal labor and endurance
Advocacy inside hospital walls
Postpartum mental health
And the birth that led her into birthwork
Listen to the episode now:
From Educator to Mother to Birth Worker: An Unmedicated Birth Story That Teaches Us About Pain, Power, and Surrender
This episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast is one of those conversations that stays with you long after it ends. It’s intimate, vulnerable, deeply educational, and incredibly validating for anyone who has given birth, is preparing to give birth, or supports birthing people in any capacity.
In this episode, I sit down with Ariella Silverstein-Tapp (she/her)—former school principal, lifelong educator, new mother, and now full-spectrum doula—to unpack her journey into motherhood and birth work through the lens of her own powerful, unmedicated birth experience.
What makes this conversation especially rich is that Ariella didn’t just experience birth—she studied it, questioned it, unlearned cultural narratives around it, and ultimately embodied it. Her story offers profound lessons about physiology, pain, control, support, trauma-informed care, and postpartum mental health.
Below, we break down key themes from the episode in an educational, digestible way so listeners and readers alike can truly integrate what this story teaches us.
Identity Shifts: When Motherhood Rewrites the Story
Ariella begins by sharing something many new parents resonate with deeply: once you become a parent, the question “Tell me about yourself” suddenly feels impossible to answer.
Before pregnancy, Ariella spent 17 years in education—as a teacher, assistant principal, and school principal. She was a leader, a decision-maker, and someone used to being in control. Motherhood, however, cracked something open.
Her pregnancy—unexpected after previous fertility challenges—was experienced first as ecstasy, then quickly layered with fear, grief, and uncertainty as she navigated the possibility of single parenthood. This emotional duality is important to name:
Joy and fear can coexist
Gratitude doesn’t cancel out overwhelm
Wanting a baby doesn’t make pregnancy emotionally simple
This sets the tone for the rest of her birth story: complexity does not equal failure.
Early Pregnancy: The Emotional and Physical Reality We Don’t Talk About Enough
Ariella’s first trimester was brutal—emotionally and physically. She experienced:
Severe nausea and vomiting for 22 weeks
Emotional stress related to relationship uncertainty
The pressure of maintaining a leadership role before disclosing pregnancy
This highlights an important educational point:
Early pregnancy can be one of the most destabilizing phases of the entire perinatal period—yet it’s often minimized because it happens “before it looks real.”
Choosing an Unmedicated Birth: Feminism, Embodiment, and Unlearning Fear
One of the most educational parts of this episode is Ariella’s explanation of why she chose an unmedicated birth—especially since earlier in life she would have said “absolutely not.”
Her shift came through learning and wanting to feel the depth of the experience..
She describes how learning about birth reshaped her understanding of:
Feminism
Embodiment
The female body
Pain versus danger
Reframing Pain
Ariella articulates a critical concept that every childbirth education class should include:
Labor pain is unique—it is intense, but it is not inherently pathological.
Unlike pain from injury or illness, labor pain is:
Purposeful
Productive
Rhythmic
Hormone-driven
POWERFUL
This reframe allowed her to work with pain instead of fighting it—a skill she now emphasizes heavily in her work as a doula.
Prodromal Labor: When Birth Doesn’t Follow the Textbook
Ariella’s labor lasted approximately 50 hours, much of it spent in prodromal labor—a phase that is:
Often under-discussed
Extremely exhausting
Emotionally defeating
She experienced:
Strong contractions over multiple days
Minimal cervical change initially
Sleep deprivation
Being sent home from the hospital at 2 cm despite intense contractions
Educational Takeaway
Prodromal labor is not “fake labor.” It is real labor that requires endurance.
Ariella later reflects that lack of emotional safety and oxytocin-rich support in the early phase likely contributed to the length of her early labor—a powerful reminder of how psychological safety directly impacts physiology.
Ariella took A Path to A Powerful Birth, an evidence-based childbirth class that focuses on mindfulness and advocacy. You can learn more about that course, and its online and in-person offerings HERE.
The Turning Point: Support, Safety, and Letting Go of Control
Everything shifted when Ariella stopped trying to manage her labor and started surrendering to it. She was tracking and timing her contractions, and when she let go and turned inward, a lot changed.
Key supportive elements included:
Her doula arrived and encouraged her to disconnect from timing contractions
A refocus on rest
Her mother’s arrival
Hands-on comfort measures (hip squeezes, counter pressure)
Warm water immersion
Being encouraged to stop timing contractions
Feeling emotionally protected
This moment is a masterclass in birth physiology:
The nervous system needs to feel safe for labor progress.
This reinforces the importance of emotional attunement and reducing cognitive load during labor.
Hospital Dynamics: Advocacy, Consent, and Nervous System Disruption
Once admitted at 7 cm, Ariella encountered a challenging support dynamic with a highly anxious nurse.
This part of the story highlights critical educational themes:
The impact of provider anxiety on labor
The importance of informed consent
How repeated cervical exams can feel invasive
The reality that birthing people may need protection from overstimulation
Ariella’s instinct to retreat to the bathroom—creating physical and emotional distance—was not avoidance. It was a regulation.
Privacy can be a powerful form of advocacy.
Pushing, Doubt, and the Myth of “I Can’t Do This”
Like many birthing people, Ariella experienced doubt during pushing:
“She’s stuck. She’s never coming out.”
This moment is not failure—it is transition psychology.
Hearing reassurance, connecting to loved ones, and being reminded of her own strength helped her move through this phase. When crowning began, instinct took over.
She roared her baby out.
And then—suddenly—the pain stopped.
The immediate euphoria she describes is consistent with:
Oxytocin release
Endorphin surge
Relief after prolonged exertion
Postpartum: Love, Loss, and Mental Health
Ariella’s postpartum experience was marked by:
Overwhelm
Identity shift
Profound love
Postpartum anxiety and depression
She names something vital: You can desperately want motherhood and still grieve your old life.
Navigating postpartum is challenging, and Ariella was extremely intentional about her support. Her healing was supported by:
Therapy
Postpartum Support International groups. *They have great identity-specific virtual support groups. In this case, the one for single mothers was helpful for Ariella.
Community care from her friends and family
Single Motherhood and the Nervous System group program with Kimberly Ann Johnson
This is a powerful reminder that postpartum care is not optional—it is essential. Ariella shared that having therapy support set up ahead of time was essential.
What This Birth Teaches Us
Ariella says she is most proud of persevering—through prodromal labor, doubt, exhaustion, and pressure—while staying aligned with her values.
Her story teaches us:
Birth is not linear
Control often delays progress
Support shapes outcomes
Pain does not equal harm
Postpartum deserves as much preparation as birth
Whether you are pregnant, postpartum, or supporting others, this episode is a reminder that birth is not something to “get through.”
It is something to be held, supported, and honored.
And in this transition to parenthood, Ariella felt the call to work in birthwork. She left her role as a principal and trained to be a full-spectrum doula. If you’re interested in learning more about Ariella’s work as a birthworker, you can reach her on DoulaMatch or on Instagram @EarthsideBirthServices.
If listening to Ariella’s story made you realize how much mindset, physiology, and support shape a birth experience, that’s exactly why I teach my childbirth classes the way I do. In A Path to a Powerful Birth, we go far beyond “what happens in labor.” We talk about pain versus danger, how to protect your nervous system, how to advocate without escalating tension, and how to prepare for postpartum with the same intentionality you bring to birth. Whether you’re planning an unmedicated birth, an epidural, or simply want to feel informed and steady walking into the unknown, my classes are designed to help you understand what’s happening in your body—so you can move with it instead of against it. You can learn more about upcoming in-person and online options at clearlightbirth.com/classes.
If this episode resonated with you, consider listening again with these themes in mind—or sharing it with someone who needs to hear that their experience is valid, complex, and worthy of care.
Thank You for Listening
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