#106: Prepared for Whatever Comes: Letting Go of the “Perfect Birth — with Bec Conant

Birth is inherently uncertain — and that uncertainty is not something to fear. It’s where flexibility, trust, and empowerment live.

In this episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, Clara is joined by Bec Conant (she/her) — a doula, prenatal and postnatal yoga teacher, and hypnobirthing educator with over 25 years of experience — for a reassuring conversation about releasing the myth of the “perfect birth” and learning how to work with whatever unfolds.

Together, they explore how true preparation isn’t about controlling outcomes, but about building the confidence and presence to meet each moment as it arrives.

What You’ll Learn

• Why there is no single “right way” to give birth

• How letting go of outcome-attachment can reduce disappointment

• What it means to build a birth “tool basket” without guarantees

• The difference between sensation and pain in labor

• How fear and tension can intensify discomfort

• Simple ways to calm the nervous system during labor

• Why no one fails at birth, even when plans change

Listen to the episode now:

Welcome back to the Mindful Womb Podcast, where we explore the wisdom, science, and soul of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum life.In this episode, I was joined by Bec Conant (she/her), a seasoned doula, prenatal and postnatal yoga teacher, and hypnobirthing educator who has supported over 300 births in her 25-year career. Our conversation centered around one profound truth:

Birth is inherently uncertain—and that’s exactly where the magic lies.

The Myth of the “Right Way” to Give Birth

Bec began by reminding us that no two births are ever the same. Each mother, baby, and labor unfolds uniquely—and trying to find a single “right way” to give birth can often lead to disappointment.

So many parents-to-be search for certainty—believing that if they take the right classes, do the right movements, or hire the right provider, they’ll be guaranteed an “ideal” birth. But as Bec put it:

“There’s no one right way to do this except for the one that’s right for the birthing person in the moment that it arrives.”

Birth is not a formula. It’s a fluid, living experience, and our best preparation lies not in controlling it, but in cultivating flexibility and trust.

Building Your Birth Tool Basket (Without Attachment to Outcomes)

Education is empowering, but it’s not a guarantee.

Bec encourages her students to gather tools—breathing practices, movement strategies, comfort measures, communication skills—but to remember that these are not tickets to a perfect birth. They’re resources to help you adapt when birth takes an unexpected turn.

Her favorite affirmation from hypnobirthing captures this perfectly:

“I am prepared to meet whatever turn my birthing will take.”

When we focus less on achieving a specific outcome and more on building confidence in our ability to navigate whatever arises, we set ourselves up for empowerment rather than disappointment.

From Yoga to Birth: The Power of Staying Present

Bec’s decades of teaching prenatal yoga have shaped her understanding of birth as a practice of mindfulness in motion.

Just as yoga invites us to observe changing sensations without judgment, labor invites us to meet intensity with curiosity rather than fear.

“A yoga practice is meditation in action—consciously moving into something, consciously moving out of something.”

In her classes, Bec teaches the three stages of a pose: arising, abiding, and dissolving.Birth mirrors this rhythm—waves of contractions arise, peak, and release.

Learning to stay with each stage, moment by moment, helps birthing people find calm within the flow of change.

Sensation vs. Pain: Rethinking What We Feel in Labor

One of the most enlightening moments in our conversation was Bec’s distinction between pain and sensation.

She explained that while the uterus is the most powerful muscle in the body, its contractions are not necessarily “pain” in the injurious sense. They’re strong sensations of muscle engagement—the body doing exactly what it’s designed to do.

So what’s the difference?

• Sensation feels powerful, intense, stretching, or pressure-filled—but it’s manageable when met with curiosity and breath.

• Pain signals that something may be off—perhaps the baby’s position, muscle tension, or the body’s need to move differently.

“Pain is the body’s way of telling us something is off. Sensation is something we can work with.”

By learning to discern between the two, birthing people can respond intelligently rather than reactively—adjusting positions, breathing differently, or seeking support when needed.

Calming the Nervous System: From Panic to Presence

Bec also shared how fear and tension can amplify pain and stall progress.

When anxiety spirals, the fear-tension-pain cycle kicks in: fear increases tension, which intensifies pain, which reinforces fear.

In moments of panic, the goal is to ground the body and soothe the nervous system. Bec often guides partners to apply deep, firm pressure—hugging, holding, or using reassuring touch to create safety.

“The conscious mind is like a mental two-year-old—it wants what it wants when it wants it. Sometimes it just needs a hug.”

Breath is another vital anchor. Slow, full, three-dimensional breaths—expanding the ribs, belly, and back—signal the body that it’s safe to release. As Bec shared from a midwife’s wisdom:

“What if it’s not the strength of the contractions that opens the cervix, but the depth of relaxation between them?”

When we soften, we open—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Working With, Not Against, What Arises

Birth isn’t a pass/fail experience. It’s a journey of adaptation.Even when medical interventions like epidurals or cesareans become part of the path, they can still be empowering choices when made consciously.

“Nobody fails at birth. You can work with anything that comes up—as long as you keep working with it.”

Whether your path unfolds as expected or takes a detour, what matters most is staying connected—to yourself, your body, and your support system.

A Message for Expectant Parents

Bec’s closing words still echo with gentle reassurance:

“It’s not as bad as you might think it is. Everything is workable if you keep working with it.”

Birth may bring surprises, but you have the innate wisdom and capacity to meet them. Stay curious. Stay present. Stay compassionate with yourself.

Learn More from Bec

If you’d like to explore Bec’s offerings—from prenatal yoga and hypnobirthing to spinning babies and pelvic floor classes—visit www.ombirthsboston.com/

She also offers a beautiful resource, The Om Birth Approach, combining yoga and meditation for labor preparation.

As educators, partners, and birth workers, we can’t promise predictability—but we can cultivate presence.When we teach parents to trust their ability to meet each moment, we empower them to find calm even amidst chaos.

After all, mindfulness in birth isn’t about controlling the waves.It’s about learning how to ride them with grace.

These mindful approaches are what I teach in A Path to A Powerful Birth, an evidence-based childbirth class that prepares your mind and body for the unpredictable nature of birth.

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