#95: Trust Your Baby, Trust Your Body: Navigating High Risk Pregnancy as a Black Woman - with Farida Graham

In this powerful episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, I sit down with Farida Graham—educator, leader, and proud parent to 14-month-old Tammy—for an unfiltered, heartfelt conversation about navigating a high-risk pregnancy, confronting systemic bias, and fiercely advocating for herself as a Black birthing person.

We cover:

• The unexpected shift to “high-risk” at 20 weeks and what that really felt like

• How Farida made the courageous decision to switch care providers

• Replacing exercise with nervous system regulation tools like massage and breathwork

• How race and data informed her care decisions

• Preparing for postpartum before the baby arrived

• Facing and treating postpartum anxiety with courage and support

• Leading by example in the workplace around parental leave

• And the mantra that grounded her through it all: “Trust your baby. Trust your body.”

Listen to the episode now:

In this week’s podcast episode, I had the honor of sitting down with Farida Graham—an educator, leader, and proud mother to 14-month-old Tammy—for a deeply moving conversation about her experience navigating high-risk pregnancy, the medical system, and postpartum as a Black woman.

What unfolded was a profound testimony to the power of informed decision-making, self-advocacy, community care, and maternal instinct. Whether you're a birthing person, a support partner, a care provider, or an ally, Farida’s story is rich with wisdom we all need to hear.

1. The Shock of Becoming "High Risk" at 20 Weeks

Farida’s pregnancy began with joy and ease—until her 20-week ultrasound changed everything. What she thought would be a routine appointment turned into a sudden referral to Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM). She discovered that her cervix was shortening, putting her at risk for preterm labor.

➡️ Educational Insight: Cervical insufficiency is one of the common reasons a pregnancy might be classified as high risk. It highlights how routine imaging can catch conditions early—but also how jarring that information can be when not delivered with sensitivity.

💡 Pro Tip for Providers: Always frame new diagnoses with compassion and context. Never underestimate the emotional impact of unexpected referrals.

2. Advocating for Yourself in the Medical System

Farida quickly recognized a lack of communication and support in her initial OB care team. Rather than remain passive, she switched providers. Her new doctor made space for her voice, her questions, and her intuition.

“I asked myself: Do I feel seen in this appointment? If the answer was no, I knew I had to make a change.”

➡️ Takeaway for Expecting Parents: You are allowed to switch providers—even mid-pregnancy. Don’t wait for something egregious. You deserve to feel respected and informed at every step.

3. Managing Anxiety Without Movement

Activity restrictions meant Farida, a lifelong runner, could no longer rely on exercise as a stress outlet. She turned instead to massage, yoga, and acupuncture—not realizing at the time she was supporting her parasympathetic nervous system, the “rest and digest” response so vital during pregnancy.

➡️ Educational Highlight: Engaging the parasympathetic system can lower cortisol levels and improve overall pregnancy outcomes. Even gentle movement or breathwork can help.

🧘‍♀️ Try This: Prenatal yoga, guided body scans, or mindfulness meditation designed for pregnancy.

4. The Intersection of Race, Research, and Medical Bias

Farida named the reality many Black birthing people face: the statistics around maternal mortality are disproportionately worse for Black women. Farida used data to select her care team and hospital based on real metrics—including cesarean rates and neonatal outcomes.

“I’m not afraid to hurt people’s feelings if I need to protect my baby and myself.”

➡️ Lesson for All Parents: Know your numbers. Research hospital and provider statistics. Choose with intention—and don’t be afraid to ask hard questions.

💬 Helpful Tool: Farida used ChatGPT to translate dense medical research into layperson’s language—an empowering strategy to stay informed without overwhelm.

5. Planning for the Postpartum: “I Need to Be Well So My Baby Can Be Well”

Farida didn’t just plan her birth—she planned her postpartum. She lined up a postpartum doula, lactation support, and emotional care before the baby arrived. Why? Because waiting until crisis hits can be too late.

➡️ Your Homework: Who’s in your postpartum village? A doula? A therapist? A night nurse? A best friend who shows up with food?

📋 Postpartum Prep Tip: Plan for postpartum like you would plan for birth. It is just as important, if not more.

6. Postpartum Anxiety Is Real—And Treatable

Farida shared courageously about her experience with postpartum anxiety—something often overshadowed by the more commonly discussed postpartum depression. For her, it wasn’t sadness—it was fear. Fear of driving, of something going wrong, of not being “enough.”

“I didn’t even know postpartum anxiety was a thing. But I knew something didn’t feel right.”

Thanks to a responsive pediatrician and OB team, Farida got the support she needed—including medication, which she now credits with transforming her experience of new motherhood.

➡️ PSA for Everyone: Postpartum anxiety is common and very treatable. Don’t suffer silently. Don’t wait to reach out.

📞 Resource: Postpartum Support International — multilingual hotline, provider directories, and more.

7. A Word on Work and Maternity Leave

As a leader in her school, Farida didn’t just take leave—she modeled it. She planned for flexibility, advocated for boundaries, and made sure her example empowered others in her organization.

“If you’re in a leadership role, your choices send a message—make them count.”

➡️ Leadership Insight: Whether you’re a teacher or a CEO, planning for a smooth exit and return can support both your recovery and your colleagues’ confidence.

8. The Mantra That Carried Her Through

“Trust your baby. Trust your body.”

These six words grounded Farida when fear crept in. Through contractions, through planning, through decisions, she reminded herself that birth is ancient. Her baby and her body were working together. She was not broken—she was built for this.

You Are Not Alone

Farida’s story is more than personal—it’s collective. Her voice echoes the experiences of countless birthing people navigating joy, fear, systemic bias, unexpected turns, and profound love. Whether you’re pregnant now, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking to understand—this episode is your reminder that community, information, and intuition are powerful tools.

If you’re not feeling held—get curious. If you’re feeling fear—talk about it. If something doesn’t sit right—speak up. Your voice matters.

✨ Want to Hear More?

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite platform. Show notes include every resource Farida mentioned, including podcast recommendations, planning templates, and postpartum support networks.

📧 Want to share your story or ask a question for a future episode? Reach out at info@clearlightbirth.com

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