#90: From Control to Trust: The Essential Truth of Birthing Confidently

Surrender Is Not Weakness—It’s Wisdom: A Personal Story from Bali, Silence, and Back Again

What if surrender wasn’t about giving up—but about finding your deepest strength?

In this deeply personal episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, Clara shares an unexpected chapter from her life: losing her voice after returning from a transformative retreat in Bali. What began as frustration became a profound reminder of a truth she teaches every birthing person she works with: 🌿 Surrender is not weakness—it’s wisdom.

From Bali to the silence of vocal rest, Clara reflects on how birth, parenting, and life continually ask us to release the illusion of control—and how doing so can deepen our connection to ourselves, our bodies, and our power.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• The real gift Clara received when she lost her voice

• How control and safety are often confused during pregnancy

• What surrender really means in birth and postpartum

• The kind of support that builds true inner safety

• Why parenting is a masterclass in presence, not perfection

Welcome back to the Mindful Womb Podcast. Today, I want to take you behind the scenes of a deeply personal experience I recently shared on the Mindful Womb podcast. It wasn't another list of birth tips or the latest in obstetric research—instead, it was a moment in my life that, while unexpected and frustrating, reconnected me to a core truth I often share with the birthing people I work with:

Surrender is not weakness—it’s wisdom. And it's vital for birth, parenting, and life.

From Bali to Silence: The Unexpected Gift

After an enriching month at a retreat in Bali—where I immersed myself in learning with other birth professionals and soaked in the spirit of stillness, gratitude, and deep reflection, I came back home to a different kind of lesson. One I didn’t ask for, but one I clearly needed.

I lost my voice. Completely. Physically and literally.

What started as a routine cold transformed into complete vocal loss. I couldn’t talk, whisper, or even explain myself without text or pantomime. My instinct was to push through—reschedule consults, try to teach my childbirth class, and act like I was still in control.

But the universe had other plans.

What Losing My Voice Taught Me About Birth

Losing my voice forced me into silence, reflection, and stillness—something I had longed for in Bali but hadn't fully embraced. And from that discomfort, a deeper understanding emerged: surrender is not about giving up—it’s about letting go of the illusion of control.

So many of us—especially during pregnancy and early parenting—cling to the myth that control equals safety. We obsess over birth plans, prenatal checklists, and parenting guides. But birth is organic, mysterious, and inherently unpredictable.

And here’s the truth: you can prepare deeply and still be asked to surrender completely.

Pregnancy and the Illusion of Control

Pregnancy is one of the most profound invitations to surrender. Your body is growing a human being. Despite all your research, nutrition, movement, and planning—your body is doing the work without conscious control.

This can feel terrifying. Especially in a culture that equates safety with control and certainty. But here's a reframe:

💡 Surrender is not passive. It’s an active trust in yourself, your support system, and your body's innate wisdom.

It's recognizing that, even without guarantees, you are enough, and you can meet whatever comes.

Inner Safety: The True Anchor in Birth

In all the births I've supported, it’s not the ones that went "perfectly" that stand out. It’s the ones where the birthing person stayed connected to themselves, even when things got hard. Where they felt supported—by a partner, doula, midwife, or care team. Where they weren’t alone in the unknown.

That’s inner safety. That’s what carries people through.

Not a perfect birth plan.

Not a curated playlist or scented candle.

But the quiet knowing: “I can stay with myself through this. I can trust. I can soften.”

Parenting: The Masterclass in Surrender

Parenting picks up right where birth leaves off.

Just when you figure out sleep… there's a regression.

Just when you nail feeding… they change their preferences.

It’s humbling, raw, and real.

And it continues to call you into deeper presence, flexibility, and connection. When you loosen your grip on control, what flows in is even more powerful: presence, curiosity, and love.

Reframing Surrender as Strength

For those of you who identify as planners, doers, Type-A personalities (hello, fellow A-minus here 🙋‍♀️)—this idea of surrender might feel threatening.

But what if…

• You didn’t need to control everything to be safe?

• You didn’t need to know everything to be prepared?

• You didn’t need to do everything to be a “good” parent?

What if trusting yourself—your body, your baby, your team—was the strongest move of all?

Questions for Reflection

If this resonates, try journaling or meditating on these questions:

• What might soften if I trusted myself more?

• What would open up if I didn’t need to control this part?

• What does surrender feel like in my body?

• What support do I need to feel safe when things get uncertain?

These are the kinds of questions that birth invites us to ask—not just once, but again and again as we journey through pregnancy, labor, postpartum, and parenting.

Your Voice, Your Power

Ironically, losing my voice reminded me how deeply we all need our inner voice—the one that whispers, even when the world is loud:

“You’re safe. You’re enough. You’re held.”

And just like birth, reclaiming that inner voice isn’t about controlling outcomes—it’s about anchoring into trust, releasing resistance, and allowing support.

So if you’re in a season of surrender—whether by choice or circumstance—know this:

🌸 You’re allowed to rest.🌸 You’re allowed to not know.🌸 You’re still powerful. Still held. Still deeply enough.

Let’s keep rewriting what strength in pregnancy, birth, and parenting really means—one honest, tender, and trusting breath at a time.

If this resonates with your journey, check out my course The Path to a Powerful Birth—a guided experience that blends research, mindfulness, advocacy, and surrender.

Learn more here or in the show notes of the podcast.

Thank you for doing this brave, tender work. You're not alone, and your voice—inner or spoken—matters.

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Thank You for Listening

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