#96: Is Sex Safe During Pregnancy? Answers, Tips & What No One Tells You

Okay — let’s talk about sex. Yes, sex during pregnancy.This is one of those topics that so many people wonder about, but few feel safe or comfortable asking out loud. In this episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, we’re breaking the silence and diving into the truth about intimacy, safety, and desire during pregnancy.

You’ll learn:

• What kinds of sex are generally safe during pregnancy

• When to check in with your provider before getting intimate

• How libido can shift trimester by trimester

• Non-traditional ways to experience intimacy (and why they count!)

• What positions actually feel good as your body changes

• Red flags to watch for — and when to get support

• How to navigate emotional changes, gender dysphoria, or disconnection

Listen to the episode now:

Okay — let’s talk about sex. Yes, sex during pregnancy.

This is one of those questions I know so many of you have, but almost no one feels comfortable asking out loud. And I get it. Culturally, we’re still figuring out how to talk about sex in honest, inclusive, empowering ways — and pregnancy seems to throw another layer of mystery and silence on top.

But let me be really clear up front: You’re allowed to feel curious. You’re allowed to feel confused. And you deserve real, affirming answers.

I’ve had over 5,500 views on an old blog post I wrote about this topic. So if you’re here wondering “Is this normal?” or “Can I still have sex?” — you’re definitely not alone.

Let’s get into it.

Is Sex Safe During Pregnancy?

Let’s start with the big one: Can sex during pregnancy cause miscarriage?

In most uncomplicated pregnancies, the answer is: Nope. You’re good.

Your baby is tucked safely inside the uterus, surrounded by amniotic fluid and protected by a thick, sealed-off cervix (thank you, mucus plug!). The physical barriers in your body are doing their job — so penetrative sex, oral sex, anal sex, toy play, and all sorts of intimacy are usually just fine.

BUT — here’s when to pause or check in:

You may need to avoid vaginal sex or orgasm (what we call pelvic rest) if:

• You have placenta previa

• You’re experiencing regular, unexplained bleeding

• You’re at risk of preterm labor

• You have a short cervix

• Your waters have broken (very important — no vaginal insertion after that!)

✨ Tip: Don’t be afraid to ask your provider directly: “Is it safe for me to have sex or orgasm right now?” Also — define what you mean by sex when you ask. Is it penetration? Oral sex? Toy use? Mutual touch? Vaginal? Anal? Clarity helps everyone.

Desire & Libido: It’s Not Linear, And That’s Okay

If you’ve been pregnant before, you already know: libido can be all over the place. And that’s completely normal.

Let’s break it down trimester by trimester (with a big ol’ asterisk that every pregnancy is different):

• First trimester: Fatigue, nausea, and hormonal shifts can zap your desire — and honestly, if you're feeling like a human barf machine, sexy time might be off the menu.

• Second trimester: For some folks, energy and libido increase. You might feel more sensual, more turned on, and more curious.

• Third trimester: Tender, funny, awkward, or just... done. All of it is okay. Your body is doing a lot. Your relationship to pleasure can evolve hour by hour.

If you’re queer, trans, or navigating gender expression or dysphoria, those layers add complexity too. Be gentle with yourself.

Your sexuality doesn’t disappear during pregnancy. But it might shift — and it deserves compassion, not pressure.

If you’re a partner reading this, or if you’re feeling disconnected or unsure how to communicate about intimacy, I highly recommend listening to Episode 85 of the podcast with Dr. Michelle Waldron. While it focuses on postpartum connection, the tips are so helpful for navigating pregnancy, too.

Let’s Expand the Definition of Sex

Often when people say “sex,” they mean cis-hetero, penis-in-vagina intercourse. But here, we’re talking about the full spectrum of sexual expression and intimacy:

• Oral sex (just no blowing air into the vagina — rare but risky)

• Anal sex (be gentle, use lots of lube, and avoid it if you’re dealing with hemorrhoids or fissures)

• Toys and mutual pleasure

• Fingering, massage, and sensual touch

• Solo sex and exploration

• Energy work and tantric connection

• Simply lying next to each other, breathing in rhythm

All of this is valid sex. All of it is real, and it all counts.

Comfort Matters: Tips and Positions That Actually Work

As your belly grows and your body shifts, some of your go-to positions might not feel so great anymore. That’s okay! There are plenty of options that work with your body instead of against it:

Try:

• Side-lying or spooning – less pressure on the belly

• Sitting face-to-face – cozy, connected, adjustable

• Hands-and-knees/all fours – good for deeper penetration, less belly squish

• Standing with support – against a wall or sturdy furniture

• Solo time – tuning into what feels good in your body

Oh — and props are your friend. Get those pillows, wedges, and extra lube. Whatever makes things feel good, soft, and supportive.

✨ Reminder: Please don’t white-knuckle your way through painful sex. Pregnancy doesn’t mean sex has to hurt. And if it does — there’s help.

What’s Normal vs. What’s a Red Flag?

It’s common to see some light spotting after sex — especially if there was cervical contact or an orgasm. Your cervix is more sensitive right now thanks to increased blood flow.

🚩 Call your provider if you notice:

• Heavy bleeding (like a period)

• Persistent cramping

• Fluid leaking (especially if your waters haven’t broken yet)

• Any signs that feel really out of the ordinary for you

Listen to your body. You know it best.

Emotional Intimacy, Dysphoria & Feeling Distant

Pregnancy brings up a lot. And for many, that includes:

• Changes in body image

• Gender dysphoria

• Physical limits

• Relationship tension

• Sexual shame or disconnection

Whether you’re feeling hypersexual or totally shut down, please know this: You’re allowed to feel however you feel.

Maybe you don’t want sex at all. Maybe you just want closeness without touch. Maybe you miss the kind of sex you used to have. Maybe you feel more in your body than ever.

All of it is valid.

Try expanding intimacy beyond the physical:

• Baths together

• Eye contact and synchronized breathing

• Talking about pleasure — past, present, or future

• Fantasies, jokes, cuddling, hand-holding

If Sex Hurts, Please Don’t Just Accept It

Whether you’ve always experienced pain with penetration, or it’s new since becoming pregnant — you do not have to “just deal.”

Go listen to Episode 47:Enjoying Pain-Free Sex Postpartum - The Healing Essentials with Pelvic Health Specialist Lynn Schulte. We talk about tension, healing, and ways to make sex feel safe, supported, and pleasurable again.

Let’s Recap: What I Want You to Know

Here’s a little grounding check-in to wrap things up:

1. Sex is usually safe — but always ask your provider based on your unique situation.

2. Desire is fluid — it can shift and change, and that’s okay.

3. Non-penetrative sex is still sex — intimacy has many forms.

4. Props and lube make everything better — comfort is key.

5. Pain isn’t something to normalize — support is available.

6. Talk about it — honest, open communication is your best tool.

Whether you’re solo, partnered, queer, trans, straight, or beautifully in-between — I hope you feel seen and supported. There is no one way to experience sex during pregnancy. What matters is that it feels safe, nourishing, and right for you.

If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with a friend or partner. And if you have questions you’d love me to explore on a future podcast episode or blog post, I’d love to hear from you.

📩 Email me at info@birth.com 

📱 Or DM me on Instagram @mindfulwombpodcast

Until next time — Be gentle with yourself. Your body is wise. Your desires matter. And your version of intimacy is valid. 💜

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