#88: BIRTH STORY: From Science to Surrender, A Biologist’s Empowered Birth Story- with Emilie Wilder

Welcoming a new life into the world is one of the most profound experiences a person can have. But how do you prepare for something as unpredictable as birth? In this episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, I sit down with Emily Wilder, a biologist and first-time parent, to hear how she prepared for birth with intention—and how she learned to trust her body and the process along the way.

Emily shares how her research-driven approach gave her confidence, how she used affirmations and mindset tools in labor, and how she advocated for postpartum leave—ultimately inspiring policy change in her provider's office. Her story is a powerful reminder that birth is about both preparation and surrender.

What You’ll Learn:

✔️How to balance research and intuition in pregnancy

✔️The difference between a birth plan and birth preferences

✔️Mindset tools that helped Emily stay grounded during labor

✔️Why advocacy in pregnancy and postpartum matters

✔️How joy and connection shaped her birthing experience

Listen to the episode now:

Welcoming a new life into the world is one of the most profound experiences a person can have. However, the journey to childbirth is often filled with uncertainty, and navigating the process with confidence requires both preparation and the ability to surrender. In this episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, we had the privilege of hearing Emily Wilder’s inspiring birth story—one that highlights the balance between research, mindset, advocacy, and trust in the process.

Embracing Knowledge: The Role of Education in Birth Preparation

Emily, a biologist and first-time mother, approached her pregnancy with a deep curiosity and a strong desire to educate herself. She read books, listened to podcasts, and immersed herself in the science and physiology of birth. Her first resource was Expecting Better by Emily Oster, which helped her frame her decision-making process with an evidence-based approach.

She later discovered the Evidence Based Birth podcast, which provided a deeper understanding of birthing options. One particular episode on doulas inspired her to seek additional support, leading her to The Mindful Womb Podcast and ultimately, to working with a doula who resonated with her birth philosophy. Emily’s experience emphasizes the importance of education—not only to understand the process but also to alleviate fear and foster confidence.

Birth Plans vs. Birth Preferences: Preparing with Flexibility

One of the greatest lessons Emily learned was that birth cannot be entirely planned—it can only be prepared for. As a meticulous planner, she had to navigate the delicate balance between having a well-researched birth plan and being open to unexpected turns.

“I had to really carefully navigate that space of, okay, how am I going to plan? But also, how am I going to not get too invested in how exactly it’s going to go, because it doesn’t always go the way that you think it’s going to go,” she shared.

This is a crucial takeaway for expectant parents: while it’s essential to outline birth preferences, it’s equally important to cultivate a mindset of adaptability. Emily’s ability to approach her birth with both preparation and openness contributed to her sense of empowerment throughout the process.

The Role of Mindset in Navigating Labor and Birth

Mindset played a significant role in Emily’s labor journey. She surrounded herself with positive birth stories, reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and watching real-life birth videos to normalize the process.

During labor, she leaned on affirmations and mental strategies to stay present. One of her guiding mantras was, “My body was made for this.” Additionally, she drew inspiration from the Litany Against Fear from Dune, a powerful reminder that fear can hinder progress.

“I actually asked Alexa to recite the Litany Against Fear during labor,” Emily recalled. “Having things that you can come back to in the moment when everything gets intense is so important.”

This demonstrates how personalized affirmations and mental conditioning can serve as invaluable tools in labor. Practicing resilience and reframing discomfort as curiosity can shift the birthing experience from one of fear to one of empowerment.

Advocating for Yourself in Pregnancy and Birth

Emily’s journey also highlights the importance of self-advocacy in maternity care. One of her biggest challenges was navigating the complexities of paid leave. Despite Massachusetts laws allowing for extended leave, her provider initially resisted signing the necessary paperwork. With guidance from her doula and support from fellow mothers, she approached her care team with confidence and successfully secured her entitled leave.

Even more impactful, Emily’s advocacy led to a policy change within her provider’s office—ensuring that future patients would also receive the full amount of leave they were entitled to. This is a testament to the ripple effect of self-advocacy; by speaking up for oneself, one can also create systemic change for others.

A Joyful and Empowered Birth Experience

Emily’s labor began with an unexpected catalyst—laughter. After days of waiting past her due date, her labor started with an uncontrollable laughing fit triggered by a joke her husband sent her. This moment of release seemed to signal her body to begin the birthing process, a reminder of how powerful emotional relaxation can be in labor initiation.

Throughout labor, she remained at home for as long as possible, moving through contractions with support from her husband and doula. Hydrotherapy, movement, and hands-on support helped her navigate the intensity of labor. When it was time to transition to the hospital, she arrived fully dilated and delivered her baby within an hour and a half.

Emily described the experience as a deeply connected one, both with her own body and with her husband. “It was our birth together,” she reflected. The profound sense of love and teamwork that surrounded her labor made the experience all the more beautiful.

Lessons from Emily’s Birth Story

Emily’s journey offers powerful lessons for anyone preparing for birth:

• Educate Yourself: Understanding your options and learning about birth empowers you to make informed choices.

• Have a Plan, but Be Ready to Pivot: Flexibility is key. Birth doesn’t always follow a script, and being open to the process can lead to a more positive experience.

• Mindset Matters: Fear and tension can hinder labor, while confidence and curiosity can facilitate a smoother process.

• Advocate for Yourself: Whether it’s for your birth preferences or your postpartum leave, knowing your rights and speaking up can have lasting impacts.

• Surround Yourself with Support: Whether through a doula, a birth class, or a strong partner, having a solid support system makes all the difference.

Emily’s story is a testament to the power of preparation and surrender—two sides of the same coin that together create an empowered birth experience.

If you’re preparing for your own birth journey and want to cultivate both knowledge and a strong mindset, check out my childbirth education class, A Path to a Powerful Birth. Whether you’re looking for in-person support or an online, self-paced option with live coaching calls, there’s a space for you to prepare confidently and birth with strength.

For more resources, head to clearlightbirth.com/classes or check out the show notes for all the links mentioned in this episode.

Thank you for tuning in to The Mindful Womb Podcast. I’ll see you next week for more insights and inspiration on your journey through pregnancy, birth, and parenthood.

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